This year June gloom arrived in August.
And I find that I am not depressed,
But rather soothed by its hushing stillness.

I heard once the tale of Akeldama. The story is of heartless betrayal, remorseful anguish, bitter justice. Who would betray the Messiah? What unending darkness must infect the soul to lead any man towards that garden kiss? Was he impervious to love that he could look into those eyes of limitless compassion & tenderness and turn away? Dastardly soul! I am appalled.
Until I am still. Then I see: I too have kissed the offered cheek in heartless deception. I too have turned my eyes away from the piercing gaze of Him who knows me best and loves me anyway, chooses to love me.
For I am Judas. I live in a Field of Blood.

sometimes i long for you
in a deep aching way
that's hard to express
except through tears