unveiled

2012-01-20T07:58:00.001-08:00

The moon watches peacefully,
clutched in the sleepy grasp
of a stirring morning
as I, too, am waking
to the coming dawn.

2012-01-16T16:20:00.000-08:00

"Wherever you are, you are in the right place to begin."
~ Gretchen Rubin

It is the letting go of what does not matter,
what cannot change,
and the laying hold of what always matters,
what has never changed
but rather transforms.
It begins with surrender.

2011-11-03T22:22:00.001-07:00

like a memory of movement
white against the great, blue sky
I expand

settling out of my frenzy
and into myself

languidly, I drift
across this calm, silent morning

as each strand of my soul is released
to remember

that the way to live
is to die

2011-08-22T22:33:00.000-07:00

At the end of all things
is that moment
before the letting go begins,
the tiny space
between experience and memory
when the soul is recaptured
by the tale of its own eternity --
unbound
unceasing --
until time settles in again
against my chest
(the rising sparks wink out)
transforming thought
into fond and wistful smiles.

2011-02-06T22:56:00.000-08:00

The world is tinged uncertain
with the setting of the sun...
The last remains of hopeful rays
are trapped between the earth and low-flung sky;
and so, unable to escape
they come and settle in my soul,
which, too, is trapped
between my dusty flesh and the promise of the heavens.

2010-11-23T17:57:00.000-08:00

The sky is made of harmonies.
The hills are made of gold.
My heart is made of footprints
on the pathway heading home.

2010-11-08T14:46:00.001-08:00

The clouds bubble up from the horizon
like happiness taking to the sky.

2010-11-07T21:30:00.000-08:00

this day never came
not in the way one can hold on to

the gray blurs my edges
until my certainty is lost too

slipping out of solid

time dissolves
nothing changes
nothing stays the same

yet unresolved has never been more peaceful
watching
drifting
waiting

2010-11-02T19:50:00.001-07:00

It's that slow surrender
of day to night

the kind you can't believe exists
until you witness it.

2010-10-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

The clouds drew near
to lie against the very flesh of the earth
in an intimate embrace.

2010-10-18T13:18:00.000-07:00

I wish I was a mountain
shrouded in the silent comfort of a cloud
rooted to the earth
yet hidden from it
resting in the shadow of the sky.

2010-07-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

I feel like the sky

obscured
moody

pierced -- by someone else's light

drawn nearer than I thought I'd be
by the messy beauty of the human life

2010-05-15T10:09:00.001-07:00

The flowers promise that it's summer
and my heart believes them.

2010-05-10T23:36:00.001-07:00

The night
smells of something
romantic and beautiful
that I have lost
but will meet again.

2010-04-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

The sky draws near the earth today.
And with it comes a closer sense of you,
until unimpeded,
my prayers pour forth
into your comforting embrace.

2010-04-04T10:49:00.000-07:00

The first gasp is painful
made sweet by the realization
that breath has entered me

The darkness shifts
uneasy against my breath

Still hesitant to hope
my soul clings
to the remnants of waiting
until

I am shaken
deeply shaken
and all that will not last
falls away
to reveal that
which will remain

The sound of my own panting fills my ears now
as power wells within
crescendos
I am unimpeded

Light breaks through
surrounds me
with life

I am free.

2010-04-03T17:57:00.000-07:00

So I wait
every tiny fragment
every shattered hope
with no way forward
no way out
in darkness
and dust
and ashes
I wait

2010-04-02T23:18:00.000-07:00

It is dark -- to be sure
This darkness is heavy
It crushes the breath from my body
and rests on my face
with the weight of thousands of years of evil and hatred
If I opened my mouth
I could taste its bitter selfishness on my tongue

The stillness calms my struggle
until at last
I surrender
and am transformed
to ashes
and dust

Yet this darkness is no less diminished

2010-02-25T16:46:00.000-08:00

I will hold you
to my heart
my love

I will gather you
to me
every broken bit
of dream
and soul
and heart
as you shed
the tears
and words
that have worn you
from whole
to pieces

I will hold you
to my heart
my love
in my heart

I will press my lips
against your pain
with fierce compassion
my embrace absorbing all
that makes you
wounded
aching
weary
until it turns
to whole
and hopeful
burned to beauty
by my love

I will free you
set you free
to wander on
the long-forgotten paths of joy
with laughter
in your smile
and step

But always
I will hold you
in my heart
my love
will hold you
love

2009-11-27T15:35:00.001-08:00

Even after all this time
the sun never says to the earth,
"You owe Me."

Look what happens with
a love like that,
It lights the Whole Sky.

-Hafiz
from The Gift

2009-10-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

Oh, faithless heart
do not betray me.

Do not break me
and the hearts of those I love.

2009-07-23T16:46:00.000-07:00

My heart has broken
a thousand times
each poignantly unique
and crushing

My heart has healed
a thousand times
stronger
and more full of love

My heart does not wait
in hope
it clings
so that I am not lost

And I too am breathless
with belief
that all that has come before
has been to lead me here

2009-07-15T23:15:00.001-07:00

I hear the trees sleeping
in hushed, rustling tones
soothed by the wind's gentle kisses
and the ancient lullaby of the stars

2009-04-13T15:59:00.000-07:00

I am resurrected
by the sunlight of a new day

I warm
with hope transparent
as the softened yellow of a butterfly's wing

I flush
eager with the joy
of violet-red flowers
grown glorious by the holding
of their own light

2009-03-09T11:43:00.000-07:00

The mountains caught the clouds
With no grasping, no trickery,
No conniving or pleading

Faithful mountain
How is it that a wayward cloud
Would leave the sky
To mingle with your peaks and crags
To brush against your rocky sides?

Searching soul
Belonging has the power to catch without reaching.

2009-02-18T14:01:00.001-08:00

It's the one whose words should heal us
that wound us most deeply.

2009-02-18T13:54:00.000-08:00

a blue sky
broken by clouds
has more character

2009-02-11T13:54:00.000-08:00

It's never just one time.
We awaken
again and again,
much less faithfully than the sun
but no less splendidly.

2009-01-21T14:45:00.000-08:00

The clouds above me ripple
off and off and off like waves.

I lie beneath them
trapped but unafraid
their curving contours soothe me
with soft gray thoughts of submersion
broken here or there by silver gold staircases
beams of sunlight leading my heart upward
in peaceful reverie.

2008-12-28T15:33:00.000-08:00

Did I glimpse the face of God?

It's hard to believe
my sleep sticky eyes

So I blink in doubt

But even disbelief
Succumbs to the splendor of stars
and the beauty of love

2008-12-23T12:03:00.000-08:00

You speak and you slash
Surprised, shocked, I do not run

In moments
my once whole heart
Is shredded

To you it is nothing less than normal
To me it is a throbbing lifelong wound

2008-12-22T20:01:00.001-08:00

I saw blue sky
sweet and tender
bright and faithful

tucked between
rain and fog
clouds and drear

like a sudden
breath of hope

2008-12-21T23:40:00.000-08:00

I do not float
For bitterness is heavy
And turns my heart sour with disappointment

Instead I sink
Beneath the ancient weight of regret and despair
Dragged toward the gnawing of dissatisfaction
Which is never fulfilled
No matter how many lives it consumes

2008-12-15T10:27:00.000-08:00

My life is joy
written in the colors
of rain and rainbow
of death and life
of laughter and sorrow

I am painted through
with the fragrance of joy
bittersweet but hopeful
like the dreams of a crescent moon

2008-12-01T12:45:00.001-08:00

If I could speak backwards
there's only one thing I'd say

It is love.

Hear the hearts crying for love
Feed the ones hungry for love
Hug those aching for love
Guide the ones searching for love

Grow your love strong and deep.

My voice feels trapped in this moment
Yet it echoes forward
into the someday backwards
So I will not silence love

Write your life in love.

2008-12-01T00:04:00.000-08:00

Wicked soul that shines only in darkness
I long for my muse -
sweet star sprinkled skies bleeding into the hills
How can I know you without a reflection?
It is a short journey without a guide

2008-11-18T22:08:00.000-08:00

If ever I grow older,
may it be as one who has surrendered
to hope
and pleasure in the journey.

2008-11-13T15:19:00.000-08:00

I am told a tale
That I can't say I believe
I am unmoved
I walk through walls

Into nothing
I throw my foolish self
Weak willed

Save for my heart
Thoughts of treasure
Truer than this moment

Bound by silly tales
I do not see
In the end we all believe
If not in star filled skies
Then heroes

2008-11-10T11:11:00.000-08:00

Once was made for fairy tales
yet still I journey backwards
ignoring the apparent fruitlessness of wishing

2008-11-09T01:11:00.000-08:00

My life plays in color shot through with light
The music accompanies each scene with a chord, a lyric, a tune from my childhood

But it is these moments --
when the poems write themselves in my head
when all that I see and feel and smell and taste and hope for is aptly held
in the description my unconscious composes for me --
That I see the world with newly opened eyes
And feel most deeply embedded in my own life as the story it is becoming

Gilgal

2008-08-05T11:59:00.000-07:00

Roll back the shame of my slavery.
I have carried my reproach for years,
Wandering in my self-imposed exile
Refusing to lay my burdens down
And be still beneath the scalpel of your discipline.
But here at last, my freedom is at hand
Roll back the shame of my slavery.

2008-08-04T14:00:00.001-07:00

It was the stories that awoke me –
Stories of love and self-discovery
Stories of vibrancy and life.

I listen and within me
Stirs the part of me that is story, but not my story
Our story
That of woman, women, flesh and blood,
Spirit trapped but not without certainty of coming freedom.

In the ensuing stillness
Heart cries, “Breathe!”
Soul whispers, “Drink.”
Spirit commands, “Shine.”

I am not a story alone,
But tied to all the stories that were and are and soon will be.
It makes me stronger, wiser,
More able to be that which is within me.

I find I am alive.

2008-06-12T17:34:00.000-07:00

The heart of love
is too slippery to hold.
It refuses to be tamed,
defying capture.
Instead, it draws all those who seek it
out into the unknown
following elusive paths
led on by hints and whispers
ever hoping for one
full, untainted moment in
the heart of love.

2008-06-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

Clouds,
like fading brush strokes,
come off the mountains
to line the darkening sky.

Could it be
I see the hills
slowly losing their souls,
blown free
by dusk and twilight?

2008-05-04T00:44:00.001-07:00

sweet soul
weepy, beautiful mess
beating heart
falling tears
more broken than I knew
tender heart child
I'm sorry I abandoned you

2008-02-11T20:37:00.001-08:00

I would ask the sand,
“Don’t you ever tire of the waves
with their endless coming and going,
drowning you with their advance,
drenching you,
before abandoning you to the harsh wind and bare sky,
leaving behind only their refuse
and the endless promise of return?”

2008-02-11T20:31:00.002-08:00

I would ask the sand,
“Don’t you love the waves
with their faithful return each morning, each evening,
washing you clean,
refreshing your parched shores,
drawing men and creatures to share in your joy,
renewing your purpose as play place and guardian of the sea?”

2008-01-22T08:43:00.000-08:00

In death, I ache –
Severed and scattered
Across this dry valley
Slowly forgetting the refreshing taste of water,
The sweetness of a cool breeze.

I stand before myself and You,
My dead self and You.
You ask of life…

“O Sovereign Lord, You alone know.”

And by that I mean,
I doubt it
I hope so
Will I ever find out?

Come words that call
Life from death
Unity from pieces
Wholeness out of brokenness
Weaving and binding.

Come Ancient Breath!
I call You to my empty self
And ask to be filled
With true life.

O Sovereign Lord, I long to know, to see, to be what You alone know.

2008-01-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

I saw morning rise from slumber
in fiery splendor
and rain-drenched glory.

2008-01-02T11:52:00.000-08:00

I want to live
a life
wrapped in the truth
of Your character,
not the questions
of my own.

2007-12-30T22:43:00.001-08:00

The kind of clear winter day
When air seems unrealistic.
Only nothingness could be so transparent.

2007-12-18T14:23:00.001-08:00

Weary from the outside in
from sagging limb to lagging soul
every fiber and nuance of my being seeks
a green pasture
a quiet water
a moment to be refreshed.

2007-12-13T22:46:00.000-08:00

Tonight the clouds are made of molten lava
rippling toward the horizon
trying to defy the chill of dusk
which inevitably overtakes them
cooling their passion to a steely blue-grey.

2007-10-31T08:16:00.000-07:00

The sky looks like a painting
done in oils
hanging just above the hills
made of real life.

2007-10-15T22:09:00.001-07:00

I find you again
and you are lovely,
more striking than I recall.
I was a fool to let you slip away.
Your tender charm brings vivid color to a world gone gray.
I feel reborn.

2007-09-29T20:58:00.000-07:00

Hello green, rolling spaces of my self-discovery.
You draw out of me sweet memories
of childhood and innocence,
youth and growth.
For your new yet familiar welcome-
thank you.

2007-09-28T19:40:00.001-07:00

of hush and stillness
this day knows much

2007-09-27T22:38:00.001-07:00

The clouds remind me of children
dancing
windswept
breathless
flushing with joy.
I saw arms flung wide
faces giddy with exhaustion
seeking to enjoy every last moment
of untainted simplicity
until nighttime sends them home.
My heart shares their pleasure.

2007-09-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

I love days made of
tempestuous skies and
crystallized breath and
liquid warmth and
intriguing tales and
soothing companions.

2007-08-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

An awkward awakening
From sore and stiff and sleeping muscles
Weariness weighs upon me
And into the grogginess
Music – too sudden, too silly
Next

Inhale

With the familiar sound of the opening strain
I shift
My being and my gaze toward the window

“Welcome to the planet.”

And I have slipped
Into endless miles of moon-lit clouds
Blanketing the earth from my sight
Holding me still beneath the gaze of the stars

“Welcome to existence.”
Selah

The deeper shift was more subtle
Escaping the words I now try to pin to it
But the imprint of that one moment is still tangible
Ever shaking off the stupor that would numb my soul

“I dare you to move.”

*All quotations from Switchfoot's I Dare You to Move.

2007-06-29T22:40:00.000-07:00

You seduce me
with your moon-lit glances
and starry-eyed sonnets.
I flush
beneath your wind-blown kisses.
Tell me again
how much you love me.

2007-06-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

i miss you.
no matter why i think my soul aches
or what my heart claims to be longing for
in this one
quick
silent
upward
moment
i am suddenly very aware
that i miss you.

2007-06-25T08:21:00.000-07:00

another one of those white-washed sky days
when I can't see past
the low-hanging cloud layer
and I don't want to
so I curl in on myself
and sleep

2007-05-31T10:09:00.000-07:00

I dreamed of stars.
Well, it began with a river, wide and rushing icy blue.
The buildings huddled close
blocking my journey along the path to the water’s edge.
But then, they shook
and swayed with the rumblings of an earthquake.
We fled.
All of us fled into the city
where I saw suddenly and clearly a vast multitude of starry host.
In soul-exploding worship, I fell to my knees
unable to silence the proclamation echoing down from the less than silent stars:
You Are Worthy!
Those who walked beside me joined the refrain
and we worshipped.
Those in the street, whom I did not know, fell prostrate before Holiness
and we worshipped.
Every fleeing person ceased their striving,
the stars cried out their praise,
and we worshipped the One who is Worthy.

2007-05-21T11:21:00.000-07:00

I wish I could somehow shake
this lopsided feeling
that I have invested my 10% in you
so I should get
100% return
in the form of
One Happy Life without issues,
but I can't.

2007-05-20T10:44:00.000-07:00

my impatient soul yearns to be whole
i need to learn to wait with the ache
instead of chasing frivolous unhealthiness
O Sweet Satisfaction That Is To Come
remind me of my true longing

2007-05-17T11:55:00.000-07:00

my heart breaks for you, my sister
death for love
a horrific sacrifice
why did no one rescue you?
have we abandoned compassion?
we cannot take a life
without giving part of our own
we cannot ignore hatred
and think we are unscathed
i kneel in the dust to weep for you

Video: Public stonings continue in Iraq*

2007-05-15T10:56:00.000-07:00

I am a fool.
I silence the hopeful whispers of my soul
and drive away happiness.
I wrap myself in chains of fruitless longing
and bind my heart in despair.
What ignorant slave of an evil master
would willingly refuse freedom?

2007-03-07T22:40:00.000-08:00

So we now have dollar coins in circulation without the inscription "In God We Trust".
But that's okay.
We don't really need God on our money; we need Him on our hearts.

2007-03-02T09:03:00.000-08:00

Two guys are talking to each other, and one of them says he has a question for God. He wants to ask why God allows all of this poverty and war and suffering to exist in the world. And his friend says, "Well, why don't you ask?" The fellow shakes his head and says he is scared. When his friend asks why, he mutters, "I'm scared God will ask me the same question."
Over and over, when I ask God why all of these injustices are allowed to exist in the world, I can feel the Spirit whisper to me, "You tell me why we allow this to happen. You are my body, my hands, my feet."
Taken from Resurrecting Church, a chapter in Shane Claiborne's book Irresistible Revolution

2007-02-26T23:09:00.000-08:00

I am wading in quicksand
or the speed is set on slow motion
or something else (equally unhealthy for my soul) has captured me
and is methodically binding me down,
numbing me up for the kill.
Despite my groggy efforts,
all my defenses have been rendered useless.
This is a cry for help!

2007-02-05T21:32:00.000-08:00

someone else's tragedy
at least it always was before
long-distance tear-filled voices
faceless email reports
sorrow rarely breaking through the bubble of selective interaction
yet here it is
raw, surreal
roomfuls of communities of the grieving & fearful
unashamed of our tears
finally beginning to grasp that it is never only
someone else's tragedy

2007-01-05T19:28:00.000-08:00

The wind seduces me with its intimate caress,
Invigorates me with its freshness,
Haunts me with its mystery.

2006-12-28T21:39:00.000-08:00

I can never be whole
because I love the stars
sprinkled across the sky
held apart by space and time.

I can never be whole
because I love the souls
sprinkled across my life
held apart by pain and brokenness.

2006-12-25T20:58:00.000-08:00

I am fettered here – bound by gravity, by flesh, by sorrow.
Too clumsy to dance to the song of my own heart,
Too broken to stay in the arms of my own Lover,
I ache in waiting for a day of tearless joy.

2006-12-13T00:04:00.000-08:00

I have found
that all I need or do or see or hope or speak
is best when it calls me to you,
when it draws me into who you are.

2006-12-11T10:27:00.000-08:00

Ancient Greek tradition has Prometheus stealing fire from heaven, fire used to light the path toward civilization. You can see the sun this way, if you wish, as Prometheus riding his horse into space and time, a lantern in his hand, held out toward the planets, a bit of it split into the belly of a furnace, forging steel, the steel splintering off to spark and die away on a blacksmith shop floor, little smidgens of fading heaven, little cosmic mysteries, plucked from the sparkling hair of God. In Egypt the sun was the eye of a god: the sun god Ra, in the evening closed his eyes and opened them again in the morning, thus the light by which we work and see and have our being is the gaze of a god. I like the Hindu tradition that has Shiva and his lover, Parvati, engaged in foreplay, Parvati coming from behind Shiva and covering his eyes, stopping the light from shining down off the Himalayas. Imagine young Indian children being beckoned to sleep by the erotic ritual of divinity. The gods are randy, night after night, the teenagers must have giggled. It is enough to make a Hindu blush.
In the Hebrew tradition, which splintered off into the Christian tradition, which is how I was raised, light is a metaphor. God makes a cosmos out of the nothingness, a molecular composition, of which He is not and never has been, as anything is limiting, and God has no limits. In this way, He isn't, and yet is. The poetic imagery is rather beautiful, stating that all we see and feel and touch, the hardness of dense atoms, the softness of a breeze (atoms perhaps loose as if in play) is the breath of God. And into this being, into this existence, God first creates light. This light is not to be confused with the sun and moon and stars, as they are not created until later. He simply creates light, a nonsubstance that is like a particle and like a wave, but perhaps neither, just some kind of traveling energy. A kind of magnetic wave. Light, then, becomes a fitting metaphor for a nonbeing who is. God, if like light, travels at the speed of light, and because space and time are mingled with speed, the speed of light is the magic, exact number that allows a kind of escape from time. Scientists have played with atomic clocks, matched exactly, setting one in a plane to fly around the world, and another motionless, waiting for the return of its partner. When they reunite, the one that traveled rests milliseconds behind the one fixed. The faster you move, physicists have found, the less you experience time. And if you move at the speed of light, you will never age; you are outside of time; you are an eternal creature. But before you strap on your running shoes, you should know scientists warn us that with speed, matter increases in density, so an attempt at the speed of light will have you imploded by the time you hit Wichita, your atoms as dense as bowling balls. And to make matter worse, your density increases on a curve; the faster you go, the greater the density, and though you can get close to the speed of light, matter and that magic speed can never meet; the faster you go, the steeper the trajectory on the graph. You and I, made from molecules, cannot travel at the speed of light and cannot escape time, at least not with a body. Consider the complexity of light in light of the Hebrew metaphor: we don't see light; we see what it touches. It is more or less invisible, made from nothing, just purposed and focused energy, infinite in its power (it will never tire if fired into a vacuum, going on forever). How fitting, then, for God to create an existence, then a metaphor, as if to say, here is something entirely unlike you, outside of time, infinite in its power and thrust: here is something you can experience but cannot understand. Throughout the remainder of the Bible, then, God calls Himself light. The perfection of the Hebrew metaphor is eerie, especially considering Eratosthenes wouldn't play with sticks and shadows for several thousand years, discovering Ra was, in fact, never closing his eyes.

From Donald Miller's Through Painted Deserts

2006-12-03T23:25:00.000-08:00

If I were to hope for more than I have dared to imagine,
would you fail me?
I cannot bear the thought of disappointment
much less the true weight of its reality.
And yet the greater tales and scenes and moments
will not let me forget --
demanding that my heart dream bigger,
at least bigger than the dreary outlook of my eye or ear.
For it is not a frivolous choice to hope,
it is a necessary one.

2006-11-04T18:01:00.000-08:00

hello tiny moon -
small enough for one eye to hold you whole in the frame of my bathroom blinds
yet great enough to hold sway all the waters of the sea by the power of your call.

2006-10-24T22:42:00.000-07:00

I hate when I lose myself to fear.

Because it is nothing more than the foolish dreams
That woke me up disturbed
And preyed on me unceasingly
Until the words were spoken that broke their spell.

2006-09-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

Oh busy, painful, hectic, angry, driven, wicked world
spare my soul
a moment to be still
guarded by this silent, cloudy sea.

2006-08-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

This year June gloom arrived in August.
And I find that I am not depressed,
But rather soothed by its hushing stillness.

2006-08-11T12:07:00.000-07:00

I heard once the tale of Akeldama. The story is of heartless betrayal, remorseful anguish, bitter justice. Who would betray the Messiah? What unending darkness must infect the soul to lead any man towards that garden kiss? Was he impervious to love that he could look into those eyes of limitless compassion & tenderness and turn away? Dastardly soul! I am appalled.
Until I am still. Then I see: I too have kissed the offered cheek in heartless deception. I too have turned my eyes away from the piercing gaze of Him who knows me best and loves me anyway, chooses to love me.
For I am Judas. I live in a Field of Blood.

2006-08-01T12:03:00.000-07:00

sometimes i long for you
in a deep aching way
that's hard to express
except through tears

2006-07-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

All of my whole life
You have drawn me to Yourself.
By the faithfulness of Your character,
Every step I have taken has led me closer to You.
Still I forget to believe --
In Your love, in Your goodness,
In the truth of all You have promised me.
And I come undone.
I fall apart into pieces of pride & discontent & fear.
Until Your voice breaks through my self-induced darkness
To awaken the corpse of my soul
To breathe in again the freedom that only can be found in You.

2006-07-03T03:18:00.000-07:00

My body may lay in your arms,
but my heart rests in your love.

2006-06-28T17:12:00.000-07:00

What you are to me
Is hard for me to speak
You come to me in changing forms
Now ocean waves on tired shores

I doubt that I could capture you
But I would never try
To touch a reflection
Is to watch it ripple away

What I would be alone is a mystery
There is no life in my heart without you
Despite all that I have known before you
I have known nothing but you since

2006-06-20T17:20:00.000-07:00

I used to love my paradoxes -
Until I found my soul to be darker than I care to admit.
But with the right amount of spin
Even depravity looks lovely.
And the mask of perfection will never slip
As long as pride is there to hold it in place.
Not really all that funny -
That fake is much uglier than vulnerable.

2006-06-14T14:50:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, my mother and I were discussing our negative attitudes regarding some of the trials and frustrations we have been experiencing lately. Momma said that she recently heard the story of the man who wrote the hymn “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”. An Irish man, Joseph Scriven's engagement ended on the eve of his wedding when his bride-to-be was thrown from her horse into a river where she struck her head and drowned. Scriven eventually made his way to Canada where he lived out his faith by helping the poor and ill in the community. Eventually, he fell in love with a Canadian woman and became engaged. However, this woman died of pneumonia a few months before they were married. And yet the lyrics to this hymn show that despite such intense experiences with tragedy and sorrow, Scriven was a man who understood that true fellowship with Jesus comes through sharing in His sufferings as Paul wrote in Philippians 3.
But in all honesty, I really struggle with considering it pure joy whenever I face trials of many kinds like the apostle James talks about in his book. Rather than welcoming hardships, I usually pray for them to go away as soon as possible.
Thus I was very convicted by something my mother brought up during our conversation. She wondered aloud if as Christians our aversion to hardship, pain, trials, and suffering comes from us being lovers of ourselves, “lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God” (2 Timothy 3:1-5).

2006-05-26T21:59:00.000-07:00

On May 15th, David Sharp died on the side of Mount Everest from oxygen deprivation. According to one report, more than 40 people saw him as he was dying and continued on their way to the top of the mountain. Sir Edmund Hillary, one of the first men to reach the top of Mt. Everest is quoted as saying, “It was wrong if there was a man suffering altitude problems and was huddled under a rock, just to lift your hat, say 'good morning' and pass on by... I think the whole attitude toward climbing Mount Everest has become rather horrifying. The people just want to get to the top.”

And I have to ask myself what about my attitude? Who do I walk right past in my quest to reach the top, carelessly leaving them to die?

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:16-18

http://kairos.la/blogs/

2006-05-20T11:20:00.000-07:00

"They who know the truth are not equal to those who love it
and they who love it are not equal to those who delight in it."
*Confucius

2006-05-17T23:35:00.000-07:00

All those things I should have said
are crushing me with their unspoken weight
as I recall the look in your pained eyes
and the strained sound of your heart breaking.
I can't remember what I was thinking
just what I was speaking-
all those things I shouldn't have said.
I'm sorry.

2006-05-03T11:33:00.000-07:00

http://kairoslane.blogspot.com/

The echoes of a bitter soul reach my brokenhearted ears.
I whisper tears of sorrow for a life unloved
And tears of hope -
That your tender strength will help him find the home he aches to know.

2006-04-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

I dreamed of a game.
It was truly a dream for the colors shone with intrinsic light and even the air tasted sweet to my tongue.
I dreamed of a shrew.
A wicked woman, a fairy tale witch, she demanded from each of the players an accounting of our good deeds until the colors faded and our taste buds withered.
Trapped behind bars of vanity, chained with our own golden glory, we languished...
Until with thinly veiled courage, a word was spoken.
A word of freedom for all who knew perfection to be unattainable.
A word of defeat for the evil shrew who was compelled to release us to frolic in freedom.
I dreamed of Grace (Candyland style).

2006-04-06T22:33:00.000-07:00

"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."
*Jack London

2006-03-30T08:15:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning with the weight of the world on my shoulders, the weight of my world. I long for it to be someone else’s lonely sorrow, but it is my own. So I weep bitterly from a broken heart I didn’t even know I had.

2006-03-25T21:42:00.000-08:00

I love
who you make me
with your
love.

2006-03-13T08:52:00.000-08:00

"I have found the paradox,
that if you love until it hurts,
there can be no more hurt,
only more love."
*Mother Teresa

2006-03-12T15:31:00.000-08:00

It's those dreams you dream all along the edge of waking up, like swimming on top of the water but with your face underneath so you can't breathe. When you finally come up for air, you have no ability to reenter reality and you find your self in the direct opposite state of where you were before. It's all because of the incongruous mix of your past, your present, and your increasingly uncertain future. And after losing precious moments trying to disentangle what you know is a memory from what you hope is neither memory nor prophecy, it becomes much more profitable to simply take a shower. Unfortunately, no amount of toothpaste can vanquish the morning breath in your mind. So the whole day becomes the needless venture of attempting to remain afloat when all that was necessary for regaining control is to stand up.

2006-03-08T13:55:00.000-08:00

I have never known a love so passionate,
so profound.
I watch in captive silence
as the full extent of your beauty unfolds.